I still dream about you. After all this time I still see the you that I wanted you to be, the one you pretended to be.
Sometimes, in my dreams, I see your face, I hear your name, I feel your touch. I hate that it still makes me feel… something, after all this time, after all the pain.
I don’t want you back, my life with you was full of lies and tears, but in my dreams it’s always different, it’s always good.
Sometimes I wonder if you’re happy. I hope you are.
I still dream about the you that you pretended to be.
You don’t know me. You think you do, but you don’t. You expect me to be something I’m not, you expect some things of me that are not in my nature. You think that what is normal to you has to be normal for me too. Well, I’m here to let you know that you’re wrong. Yeah, that’s right, I said it: you’re wrong. That happens even if you don’t want to admit it, and even more, it happens a lot to you. You just don’t see it; you’re just that much of a narcissist.
You don’t like me. You think you do, but you don’t. Because let’s face it, not knowing me implies that what you like about me is fake, is something you created by yourself, so, in conclusion not true. How can you say you like someone when every time they say something you disagree, no matter what it is, and especially when it’s a personal opinion? Judging and throwing stones at the person you say you like doesn’t show much likeness, does it? Liking someone just because you want to like someone is also not a good path to walk on. Why change a person just because your version of that said person is different? No, I’m sorry, but if you like me, then you like me because I am me and you like me in spite of my flaws and because, damn it, I do have some qualities.
Before you say some things and before you judge someone, try to think about it, try some alternatives to the question: why doesn’t it happen as I want it to? Maybe because you’re imagining things are not there, maybe because that specific person doesn’t feel the way you want them to, maybe… so many maybes. You know, contrary to popular belief, sometimes it is good to over think things, and no, not only in your own interest, sometimes, only sometimes, it’s good to get your head out of your butt and stop assuming you’re some sort of a God… and sometimes, only sometimes, it’s good to understand that things can go wrong even if you try your best to make them go right…
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t me.
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t even human.
Sometimes I wish I was a dog, to have no worries whatsoever and to live with a loving family with children that would play with me everyday and feed me, and bathe me, and walk me through the park. That would be such a great life! To have only one question: to pee or not to pee on the carpet? I would be such a cute dog!
Sometimes I wish vampires would really exist and that I could be one of them and live forever. I would just love to see how the world changes every 100 years. And I could feed on all the cute guys I could never get otherwise, and make them my own. I would so rule as a vampire. With all the power! Yummy!
Sometimes I wish I was a butterfly, to live only one day but to enjoy that single day, flying around. I would so love to fly! Or was that the fruit fly that lives for only one day? Oh well, either way!
Sometimes I wish I could just fly away, on a distant planet and just enjoy the scenery: millions and millions of stars.
Sometimes, but just sometimes, I wish I could turn back time to keep you near me. But then I remember your flaws exceed your qualities. Oh, right, nevermind!
Ok, so I guess it’s time for a new post. I haven’t written anything in a very long time! Why? Just because I’d rather write something interesting from time to time than write common stuff everyday. I don’t like writing just because, and besides, my “many” readers won’t mind.
With everyday that goes by, I realize things around me keep changing and I keep staying the same. Is it good, is it bad… I don’t know, all I know is that people around me keep getting engaged, or married, or having a baby. And what do I do?
I get a puppy!
I always thought this was something like a last resort when your about 50 and still single. But looks like it’s better than nothing, and besides, keeps me busy.
Anyway, I’m so sick of society and what it represents. Why does everybody do the same thing? Why is everyone in a hurry? And why do I want the same things?
But, let’s be optimistic! Or at least just hope that tomorrow will be better. Because, in the end of it all hope is all we have. We can work all our lives for something, and not get it, but at least we die hopping. Bleah… that’s the dumbest thing ever!
Let’s just be realistic, it’s the best thing to do!
P.S. Isn’t my puppy just adorable?
Once upon a time there was… what was it?
It was me, it was you, it was us. It was a dream, the sweetest nightmare. There were tears, fighting shadows from the past like a knight fights a dragon to save his beloved.
There were whispers, lost in the sky. It was the present which now we call past. There were lies, future plans, promises made in vain. There was hope of a brighter day.
It was me being me all over again. There was pain, there was laughter, there was love. But was it really? Wasn’t it just my imagination playing tricks on me? Did it really happen?
Does anything really happen? What is reality?